Baby Kiran: Birth Story Placeholder

Our little baby boy was born at 10:22pm on Tuesday the 30th of July 2009. He weighed a respectable 3.1kg and we have named him Kiran. I'll come back and post the birth story later, but I wanted a placeholder here so I make sure I come back to it!

Pre-Labour hurts as much as 'real' labour!

When I went into labour with Asher I knew immediately. It was four days before my due date and I woke up at around 1am, my waters broke, and I had good strong contractions straight away. I laboured happily at home through the night and knew when it was time to go to hospital - around 6am. When I got to hospital I was 7-8cm dilated. Around four difficult hours later there was an extra little person in the world. No false starts, no arsing about.

This time is so so different. I keep thinking that 'this is it' that today will be this baby's birthday. On Monday it really seemed likely - At 9am I found myself weeping on the stairs to the garage, too sore to go up or down. I talked to my mum, who knows me, and my pain threshold, and we decided that this was probably labour, and it was probably 'back labour' - when a baby is facing the wrong way (still head down, just with it's head not facing the mother's spine) and one goes into labour it HURTS. It's called 'back labour' and generally you don't get any recovery time between contractions it just REALLY REALLY HURTS.

I paced about at home and waited for my mum to come over while Sanjay dropped Asher over to a friends place, then I decided that walking would be good so I walked over for coffee. Since I had promised my OB at Friday's appointment that I would come in if things started happening as his concern was that it might turn out to be a quick one ("don't hide from us Keda, we aren't going to do anything to you") so, since walking was good, so I decided to walk up in the direction of the hospital (normally 30-40 minutes brisk walk away). I kept walking, slooooowly and painfully til I got there. By this point it was maybe 1 o'clock and there was no delivery rooms available so I pottered around the 'lounge' terrified to sit down because I felt like I'd be stuck for ever if I did. Things had calmed down by this point but when they had a free delivery room (where the monitoring equipment is) and I hopped up on the bed for a CTG. At that moment I really knew it was all over - the 'labour' stopped entirely. The pain was dramatically less, I could think clearly and I knew I wasn't in labour (any more?). When they examined me I was 1-2cm dilated and my cervix was quite thin. Ho hum. My OB came by and we had a chat - he said I was probably looking at 6 hours of synto if they tried to get things going that way so we agreed that sounded like a bad idea for a girl who doesn't want an epidural so instead I would go home and rest. So an hour (or 2?) of monitoring, a toasted cheese sandwich and plenty of discomfort but no agony later I was ready to go home. Since this could go on for ages I took some Panadeine Forte (30mg of codeine - usually enough to put me in happy-land snoozeville) and I went to sleep until friends brought Asher home and we all had dinner together.

By Tuesday morning the baby had turned back around to a comparatively comfortable spine-facing position and there wasn't even a hint of labour going on. My OB said we'd talk induction at our 41 week appointment. Since then I've been getting strong braxton-hicks contractions - usually semi-regularly for half a day, then 24 hours or so of nothing. Today the back pain was extreme again and I went to the acupuncturist who put pins in me that might stimulate labour. He wants to take credit if labour starts within twelve hours of the treatment - I'm happy to give anyone credit because at this point I just want labour to start!

It's good that the baby didn't arrive on Asher's birthday though (yesterday). Instead we had a few family and friends around for nibbles and cake in the evening (check out the photos on Flickr - Asher really got into the birthday thing - I'm not sure I've ever seen him so happy!) and I went to sleep thinking that I'd go into labour before morning. Maybe tomorrow will be the day....

Could there be anything cuter...

...than your three year old, about to go to the supermarket with his daddy, coming up to you, saying 'bye' then telling you he needs to kiss 'the baby' and reaching over to tenderly kiss your 38+ week pregnant belly and saying "Hi, I'm going, see you later" and finishing with another kiss before heading off? My heart melted!

But, then again, my emotions are ALL OVER THE PLACE at the moment. I screamed at Asher for leaving his toys on the floor (despite the floor not being as toy-strewn as usual) and later I got all dewy at him drinking his babycino. Poor kid is totally confused about what reaction anything he is going to elicit from his mother at the moment. Sanjay is in the same boat, exhorting me to rest as I weepily scrub the sink (and the highchair, and polish the buffet, and do more loads of laundry).

I'm hoping I can go into labour soon as this behaviour is driving all of us just nuts. There are some positive signs - I've been getting crampy contractions on-and-off since Tuesday (it's Saturday today) and the OB/GYN says the baby is engaged and really low. So, a rest? Or should I go and dust the doors? I've noticed the bathroom doors particularly are really quite dusty...

Out of the Mouths of Babes?

Last weekend the three of us were out, and about to sit down in a cafe for a much needed coffee when we realised that none of us had any money in our wallets. We were wandering in search of a cash machine when Sanjay said "hang on, there's a TAB" and started to pull a slip of paper out of his pocket and walk off with Asher. At this point I was wondering what on earth was going on but it turns out he had been at the pub the day before (with work!) and there had been some question about which horse had one a race and Sanjay still had the betting slip with him. I stood around and grumpily waited for them to get back, assuming that I'd still have to find an ATM but they came back and Sanjay had a strange expression on his face. He'd got lucky and yesterdays ticket paid enough for us to have coffee and cake but Asher, on seeing Sanjay hand over a slip of paper and receive money in return had asked "Daddy, is this a bank?"

Bedtime Story

Tomorrow it's one calendar month until this baby is due. I feel huge and ungainly, my maternity clothes barely cover my bump, I'm tired and I need to pee all the time. I also have a cold, which is adding to the crankiness and the whingyness. So, to spare you all the force of my grouching I'm going to tell you the bedtime story that Asher tells me every night. After Sanjay has read books with him I go in to tell Asher one of three stories. I tell him my version of the Three Billy Goats Gruff, The Three Bears or The Hare And The Tortoise. Before I start I ask him which story he wants, he tells me he wants the story of The Tortoise, Just the Tortoise. I tell him I don't know that one and he needs to tell me that story and he begins:

Once upon a time there were three tortoises, Luki, Juki, Ooki. They lived in a field and ate grass and flowers and they all lived happily ever after.

Sometiems there is one tortoise, occasionally five and sometimes there names are different, but always a variation on the theme. Whether there are one, three or five tortoises there are still only three names. Occasionally they live in a house (as well as the field) or they eat grass and flowers for breakfast, or some other slight variation. Despite the limited dramatic tension (or any plot *at all*) I find this story quite soothing - feel free to use it anytime you are trying to put me to sleep!

So, no excuses for not blogging this time, just general distractedness, and it's past time for a pregnancy update.

Basically, everything is going swimmingly. The last two ultrasound scans have had the baby measuring around the 30-35 percentile which is great. So great, in fact, that I've decided to skip then next scan, unless there is something specific they want to check for when I go for my fortnightly appointment. I'm still taking 100mg Aspirin every day, I'm trying to remember my multi-vitimins and I've just today purchased some red raspberry leaf tea. Over the last two weeks I've started to get really uncomfortable with the common, grumpy late pregnancy discomforts - varicose veins in my upper thighs and groin that hurt when I've been standing or sitting for too long, a bit of breathlesness all the time, I need to pee every 10 minutes (and it's unsatisfying because there's only a teaspoonfull there!) and my clothes, even maternity clothes, are getting tight and uncomfortable. People say I still look small, but I feel GIANT and like I'm always full (and always slightly peckish, too). However I'm pretty sure the baby's arrival isn't immanant because I'm still only waking up once a night to use the bathroom.

I've only got about six weeks to go before this baby is born, and I'm not really feeling prepared. We don't have a name shortlist that we're really happy with (there are a few girls names we like, but boys are more difficult). I haven't really done any prep for birthing - I'm not as fit or strong as I was when I was pregnant with Asher, because between paid work and mothering and active almost-three-year-old I don't have time for 'luxuries' like Pilates, and there have been no classes and minimal reading. There isn't anything I *really* need for when the baby comes but I still feel really unprepared. I'm making lists like a crazy woman - I want to hire a car capsule and buy a baby bath with a stand but they are easy to come by and I can live without both (we have a reversible car seat that works for a newborn and we have a booster car seat for Asher, but I'm keen on being able to cart the capsule around with the sleeping baby). Basically I'm feeling nesty, but too sore and tired to really do much, except look after Asher (and that's a struggle by itself!).

I'm also feeling a little maudlin because these last few weeks are, in all likelihood, the last times I'll feel a baby wriggling and kicking inside me. Despite all the pain and discomfort of being pregnant there is an undeniably special relationship a mother has with a foetus. It's such a private thing, yet it's on display for everyone and it's such a short time out of a lifetime, but so intense. It's also the closest thing you have to having control over your kids - after they are born they are even more subject to the whims of chance and the universe. I'm feeling ambivalent about our decision to not find out the sex of the baby too - I don't mind if this baby is a boy or a girl, but if I am carrying a boy it is highly unlikely I'll ever have a daughter, which is sad for me. If I have a boy I wonder if I'll want to mourn that loss - it will probably feel disloyal to the little boy, and so I'll stir guilt into the mix as well. I have no doubt that I'll love the little person either way - I guess I already do!

Anyhow, I need to go and lie down for a bit before I attempt to hang the washing out.

Asher cuteness

Asher is sick with some kind of virus today. He gets all limp and feverish for a while and then, as is the way of kids with viruses, he perks right up and is fine for an hour or two and I wonder what on earth I'm doing at home with him, then, of course, he gets flat and clingy again. This morning, while he was perky, we went for a train ride to North Sydney (no idea why - we haven't been there together since he was a baby) and while we were sitting in a cafe he fell asleep on my lap. I can't recall any other instance of that happening. Now he's tootling about the kitchen eating a sour Granny Smith apple wanting to type.

As far as a general update: The potty stuff has been driving me crazy - he's been doing wees in his pants when I'm looking after him, but almost never if I'm not there (I think he's only had two or three accidents at Kindy, and he's been out of nappies there all year). But now that seems to be settling a bit and he's even started doing his poos in the potty. I'm really proud of him.

He can pretty much make his own breakfast now - he's not great with restricting the amount of milk he pours on his Weetbix and we still spread butter more evenly when we make his toast, but he's got all the concepts down and all of the basic manoeuvres. His fine motor skills are coming along too - he writes A, H and occasionally something else (like a D). He's sitting next to me now and asking me to help him write his favourite words - Asher, Daddy and Mummy. His letter recognition is close to 100% and he''s getting closer to sight-reading words besides his own name. Freakishly, he also likes to write his own name backwards - both Sanj and I thought the other was helping him when we saw REHSA typed but no. He spells it out like that for fun with his foam bath letters too.

Sleep is getting better. We've ditched the daytime nap most days so unless he's at Kindy or we're going somewhere in the car around the middle of the day, no snooze. I'm also trying to get him into bed a bit earlier which seems to help. For a while there he insisted on sleeping on the little foam fold out kids couch in the baby's room but we discovered he was scared of the 'bats' in his room. Since Sanj explained that bats don't like to be inside houses and went around to all the doors and windows to show they were secure against bats before bedtime it's been fine. We are slowly getting our evenings back - which will of course end when the new baby arrives, in approximately 8-10 weeks.

Although he's still obsessed with trains he's also very snuggly and gives me, and the baby in my tummy, lots of kisses and cuddles. He's very verbal and loves quoting and mis-quoting lines from his story books and regularly quotes bits of Lewis Carroll's Jabberwocky (we have the Graeme Base illustrated book) which cracks me up completely. While I remember also wanted to write down a few of the funny things he's been saying before I forget them.

Washing hands in the bathroom, Sanjay puts a pump of soap on Asher's hands and he hears "Thank you, SoapMan!"

"Grandma and Grandpa say 'strawberry' but I say 'strawbry'"

"I like your pants, mumbo"

Karen, in the car: which of you kids farted?
Asher: my daddy farts

...I wish I could think of the others right now. Maybe later. Right now he's getting hot and whiny again - it's time to go and snuggle in bed and read some stories in the hope that he falls asleep.